This page began as a comprehensive listing of all the ad reads done on the show, with an accounting of the characters impersonated, any bits performed, and the sponsor/promo code. However it quickly became cumbersome to keep up with on a weekly basis, so this page serves as a finite list for the first four months of advertising only, episodes #129-147.
The individual episode summary pages on this wiki continue to include descriptions of the ads contained within that episode. If looking for a particular ad-read bit and what episode it was in, just do a search of the wiki from the Fandom search bar at the top of the page.
Blank Check integrated ad descriptions
#129 Blue Steel: Mack Weldon men's clothing.
- Griffin wants clothes that fit as well as the police uniforms on screen in this movie, which all look dynamite. Note: Griffin segued into the ad so smoothly that David didn't even see it coming. The episode guest also got involved in this bit. Later Griffin said that he purposefully dragged out his bit so long just to celebrate the fact that it was the first ad read ever on the podcast.
#131 Strange Days: Mack Weldon men's clothing.
- Griffin set the table for the discussion by doing impressions of a) David, b) an idiot, and then a tagline "Clothes so good, so efficient at fighting odor, even Tom Sizemore would smell good and look clean wearing them."
#136 Detroit: ProFlowers flower delivery service.
- The professional flowerman Dan Candyman drops by the studio. When David says that he's looking for something with fall colors, the flowerman sings songs about all the flowers available. Don't worry about any gambling issues you might have - because you cannot lose with the discount available to Blank Check listeners.
#137 Justice League: Casper mattresses.
- Stopping in at the studio most unexpectedly is Detective Will Dormer from Insomnia. He can't get any of the shut-eye that he desperately needs, so David tells him all about mattresses from Casper. Just let him sleep, don't mind the blood, please, just let him sleep.
#138 Lost In Space: Mack Weldon men's clothing, and Dollar Shave Club shaving supplies and toiletries.
- Two ads in this one! With expert Michael Winslow-esque foley work.
- First an ad for Mack Weldon, where Griffin laments that his current underwear is not even a little bit antimicrobial. He also is not getting residuals from his TV acting job, so he doesn't know if he can pay full price. So David tells him all about the clothes at Mack Weldon and the promo code discount for listeners.
- About 40 minutes later, the Monopoly Guy stops in at the studio. It's Rich Uncle Moneybags (Pennybags is his nickname), and he is spending too much on shaving supplies and buttwipes. David does him a mitzvah and tells him all about Dollar Shave Club and the discount page url at their website.
#139 Avatarland/The Second Blank Check Mailbag: Mack Weldon men's clothing.
- Wherein Griffin takes off all the Na'vi ceremonial garb he bought at Avatarland but now is in desperate need of some real clothes. So David helps him out by telling him about Mack Weldon.
#140 The Last Jedi: Dollar Shave Club shaving supplies and toiletries, and the Cerberus Rex audio adventure.
- Wherein Griffin is in character as Christopher Plummer (cleanshaven though, and that is canon now), who has come in as a last minute replacement for Rich Uncle Pennybags. And David tells him you don't need all the money in the world (!) to sign up with Dollar Shave Club.
- Later, after Griffin convinces David of a particular Last Jedi discussion point he was trying to harp on, he says to him, "Now David, I want you to try and sell me on something." And David chooses a podcast at sci-fi.com. It is a standalone radio-drama-style show called Cerberus Rex, like a movie for your ears. Performed by actors with full effects and soundtrack, with audio so sharp it's possible it is being produced by Professor Crispy. Created by Jason Harkins, who, let's say it, is a Blankie! Available free or in high-quality at sci-fi.com.
#141 The Post: the "New Player Has Joined" podcast.
- A videogame podcast! With guests like Adam Conover of Adam Ruins Everything, Daniel Van Kirk of Dumb People's Town, Jack Black of moviestar fame, Emily Gordon Oscar nominee... explores the games we all love and why we love them. Hosted by UCB guys Keith and Jesse, and Griffin happens to know that Jesse can eat 8 tacos in ten minutes. Griffin and David each really want to be on this podcast, too - watch for them to appear sometime in 2018, hopefully!
#143 RoboCop: Ziprecruiter hiring and recruitment service, and the Cerberus Rex audio adventure.
- The mechanized character Robert Cop comes in to ask for help in hiring people for his Italian Renaissance art history business. Amongst a great deal of foley work and Hank Azaria-style conversation with Griffin and Robert Cop, David manages to tell him about Ziprecuiter to find qualified candidates for jobs. If listeners use the discount URL, they can try it out for free.
- And then, Cerberus Rex, audio adventure at sci-fi.com! David notes that it is an exciting sponsor because it's a piece of art, an endeavor of creativity, and it draws from many inspirations including several featured on Blank Check. This 90-minute adventure has not only professional actors, but a full score and pro effects & mixing which have Producer Ben fully on board.
#144 Total Recall: Casper Mattresses.
- At first Griffin says we need to find a way to make these ad-reads work for millennials, and not use old out of date references. Ding dong! A wild Snorlax Pokémon barges in! Griffin needs a way to put it to sleep, and fast - David proposes using a Casper Mattress and explains why. And it works, the Snorlax is asleep!
#145 Basic Instinct: RXBAR protein bar health snacks, and Audible audiobook store.
- After explaining a long totally hypothetical scenario of a friend gaining weight and needing to get back in shape for the second season of a superhero TV show, Griffin is looking for healthy foods to eat. In this case he answers his own question with tales of gluten-free protein bars from RXBAR with all-natural ingredients.
- Later the character Autobiography from the movie The Pagemaster rings the doorbell, and David tells him about Audible - a free book for listeners who sign up for a free 30-day trial, and then a credit for a new book every month!
#146 The Third Annual Blank Check Awards: Stamps.com, print your own postage.
- Ding dong! Flat Stanley rings the doorbell, and boy is he taken aback when David doesn't immediately recognize him (though Griffin is so starstruck that he can't even say a word, wink wink). Stanley is two-dimensional, and he travels via the postal service - so David tells him about the easiest way to print postage from home without having to go to the post office. Use the promo code CHECK for a free trial and a free digital scale.
#147 Showgirls: Blue Apron, recipes and fresh food ingredient delivery service.
- Look who has somehow managed to ring the doorbell with her ghost fingers! The Ghost of Julia Child visits the studio - she is tormented by being unable to go shopping for food with her ghost hands. David offers up the idea of Blue Apron, which sends fresh ingredients for recipes right to your door. $30 off for listeners, blueapron.com/check. And with that, Ghost Julia departs - with her friend Casper. Twist! (Jon Favreau's character in Chef, not the friendly ghost one. Double twist!)