Episode #005

The fifth installment of the The Phantom Podcast miniseries. Through the haze, Ben posted this on 20 Apr 2015.


In the fifth installment of the only podcast that exclusively talks about the Phantom Menace, Griffin and David look to the movie’s cast and rate all the major players – actor by actor. From finding Ewan McGregor’s Obi-Wan Kenobi weak to Natalie Portman's not-horrible performance in the split roles of Queen Amidala and Padmé (and she goes on to future successes, okay?!) to even Tony Award-winning Ian McDiarmid as Senator Palpatine just really having fun and bringing it. Also: poor, poor Jake Lloyd.

How do #TheTwoFriends' rankings reflect on the film overall? Do their critiques live up to the overwhelming criticism that revolves around this movie?

Plus, the story of young Griffin’s chance encounter with Liam Neeson, who brings the authority called for in the role as Qui-Gon Jinn and whom has gravitas for days.

Milestones and Ephemera

  • Number of good performances: 15
  • Number of bad performances: 17
  • Number of unquantifiable performances: 1
  • New Ben Hosley nickname: The Tiebreaker
  • Star Wars Card Trader app characters who never appear in on screen: Lan-doe? Hann Sa-low?

Performance Review

Actor Character Pass/Fail Awards
Liam Neeson Qui-Gon Jinn pass unanimous MVP
Ewan McGregor Obi-Wan Kenobi weak fail
Natalie Portman Queen Amidala / Padmé fail
Jake Lloyd Anakin Skywalker noxious fail unanimous LVP
Ian McDiarmid Senator Palpatine pass
Pernilla August Shmi Skywalker pass
Oliver Ford Davies Sio Bibble light pass
Hugh Quarshie Captain Panaka pass
Ahmed Best Jar Jar Binks fail
Anthony Daniels C-3PO (voice) pass
Kenny Baker R2-D2 ? n/a
Frank Oz Yoda (voice) fail
Terrence Stamp Chancellor Valorum fail (The Tiebreaker)
Brian Blessed Boss Nass (voice) pass
Andrew Secombe Watto (voice) pass
Ray Park Darth Maul pass
Lewis Macleod Sebulba (voice) pass (chance cube tiebreaker)
Warwick Davis Wald, etc. fail
Steven Speirs Captain Tarpals hard fail
Silas Carson Nute Gunray, Ki-Adi-Mundi, etc. fail
Jerome St. John Mas Ammeda, Orn Free Ta, etc. fail
Alan Ruscoe Bib Fortuna, Plo Koon, etc. fail
Ralph Brown Ric Olié hard fail
Samuel L. Jackson Mace Windu pass
Dominic West Palace Guard fail
Keira Knightley Sabé fail
John Fensom TC-14 pass
Greg Proops Fode pass
Scott Capuro Beed fail
Lindsay Duncan TC-14 (voice) great pass
Peter Serafinowicz Darth Maul, etc. (voice) EZ pass
James Taylor Rune Haako (voice) fail
Toby Longworth Senator Lott Dodd fail
totals 15 pass

17 fail

1 ? (n/a)

Verdict: the acting is Bad

in The Phantom Menace

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