Blank Check with Griffin and David Wiki

Our Performance Review 2.0 is episode 18 and the sixth part of the Attack of the Podcast miniseries, about the film Star Wars Episode II: Attack Of The Clones. Posted 29 Jul 2015.


In the sixth installment of the only podcast that exclusively talks about Attack of the Clones (formally just the Phantom Menace until discovering this sequel), Griffin and David once again examine the film’s entire cast and rate all the major players – actor by actor. From Ewan McGregor’s Obi-Wan Kenobi as most improved to Christopher Lee killing it as Count Dooku/Darth Tyranus to the amazing voice acting of Ron Falk as THE BEST CHARACTER IN THE ENTIRE MOVIE: DEXTER JETTSTER!

How do the boys' rankings of some actors compare to the last review? Do their critiques take into account the once again overwhelming criticism that revolved around this film?

Plus: assessing directors' bodies of work such as Joel Schumacher; apparently Michael Jackson wanted to be Jar Jar Binks; and remember, great thespians don’t blink!

And more showbiz stories! The legends of Marlon Brando messing with Frank Oz on the set of The Score, Griffin auditioning for Joel Schumacher, and Griffin's audition for Edgar Wright as well as his later heartwarming encounter with Bryan Lee O'Malley (author of the Scott Pilgrim comics). A lovely note to end the episode on.

Milestones and Ephemera[]

  • There's now a pizza with a pretzel crust out there.
  • Guys, we live in a terrible world.
  • First time Griffin and David remembered to solicit listeners to "rate, review, and subscribe" to the podcast!
  • Smits got a 'fail' from the Pro-Smits podcast? Even the co-hosts were later confused about how this happened.
  • Eating on-mic: ayup (peanuts)

Performance Review[]

Actor Character Pass/Fail Awards
Ewan McGregor Obi-Wan Kenobi pass unanimous Most Improved Award
Natalie Portman Padmé fail
Hayden Christensen Anakin Skywalker ruinous fail
Christopher Lee Count Dooku / Darth Tyranus masterful pass David's favorite performance
Samuel L. Jackson Mace Windu pass
Frank Oz Yoda (voice) fail
Ian McDiarmid Supreme Chancellor Palpatine solid pass Griffin's favorite performance
Pernilla August Shmi Skywalker pass
Temuera Morrison Jango Fett fail (The Tiebreaker)
Jimmy Smits Senator Bail Organa fail
Jack Thompson Cliegg Lars pass Griffin's Most Underrated Award
Leeanna Walsman Zam Wesell hard fail
Ahmed Best Jar Jar Binks

Achk Med-Beq

Rose Byrne Dormé fail
Oliver Ford Davies Sio Bibble fail
Ronald Falk Dexter Jettster (voice) big pass unanimous MVP
Jay Laga'aia Captain Typho fail
Andy Secombe Watto (voice) pass
Anthony Daniels C-3PO

Dannl Faytonni

Silas Carson Ki-Adi-Mundi

Viceroy Nute Gunray

Ayesha Dharker Queen Jamillia pass
Joel Edgerton Owen Lars fail
Daniel Logan Boba Fett fail
Bonnie Piesse Beru fail
Anthony Phelan Lama Su (voice) pass
Rena Owen Taun We (voice) pass
Alethea McGrath Madame Jocasta Nu system fail
Susie Porter Hermione Bagwa, WA-7 pass 4 thumbs up & 2 dicks up
Matt Doran Elan Sleazebaggano pass
Alan Ruscoe Lott Dod fail
Matt Sloan Plo Koon fail
Veronica Segura Cordé fail (The Tiebreaker)
David Bowers Mas Amedda fail
Zachariah Jensen Kit Fisto pass
Alex Knoll J.K. Burtola pass
Phoebe Yiamkiati Mari Amithest pass
Kenny Baker R2-D2 ?? n/a
Liam Neeson Qui-Gon Jinn (archive sound) fail check your contract, Liam!
Totals 1 ?? (n/a)
17 pass
20 fail
Yep: the acting in Attack of the Clones is definitively bad.