The Burger Report is a glorious recurring feature that has absolutely nothing to do with anything related to the actual purpose of the podcast.
Whenever anyone on the show has a story about seeing a Fame-o eat a hamburger, they can file a Burger Report on the podcast. Eventually a hotline for listeners to file Burger Reports via voicemail was established, and those reports are eligible to air on the show.
To file a Burger Report: call 1-802-8-BURGER and leave a clear, complete, and concise voicemail with the name and perhaps the fame-o-worthiness of the Fame-o, where you saw them eating a burger, and any and all details you might have on the burger itself.
In order to be considered a true Burger Report, the food item must be called a burger. The protein does not need to be beef or even meat, but preferably the meat must be ground and shaped into a puck. However food items that are ground and shaped into a puck are not necessarily considered burgers (i.e. crab cakes). Sandwiches DO NOT COUNT.
Burger Reports are included in, but not necessarily limited to, these episodes:
- #046 Lady In The Water (debut)
- #050 The Visit (holy moly, salacious)
- #052 Bound
- #054 The Matrix
- #058 Cloud Atlas (more of a "Burger Report Report," and also a variant called "Orange Twist File")
- #060 Sense8
- #061 The Animatrix
- #064 Singles (actually "Orange Twist File")
- #068 Denim Invasion Live @ DCM18
- #074 Under Siege 2: Dark Territory (in the form of a mostly-written song by Griffin)
- #078 The Abyss (first report filed by a guest)
- #112 The First Blank Check Mailbag
- #139 Avatarland/The Second Blank Check Mailbag(first report from a blankie, via hotline)
- #146 The Third Annual Blank Check Awards (multiple hotline reports)
- #153 Terms of Endearment (from the guest, and a big batch from the hotline)
- #163 The Iron Giant (one report from the hotline)
- #169 Incredibles 2 (hotline, baby!)
- #174 Hotel Transylvania Trilogy ("Burger Report Theatre" - texts read aloud, dramatically)
- #184 Chosen - The Hire (hotline, including from a blankie excursion at TIFF 2018)
Eventually the bit devolved into The Orange Twist Files where Ben would recount drinks he made for fame-o's.