Blank Check with Griffin and David Wiki

The Jedi Council is episode 3 and the third episode of the The Phantom Podcast miniseries. Posted 6 Apr 2015.


This time out, Griffel and Simsbert discuss the Jedi Order. What are these mystical warriors all about? What is the Force? Why is Qui-Gon Jinn rigging chance cubes so that he can steal a child and casually take his blood?

Their ongoing investigation reveals new insights into many aspects of these robed street people, including: explaining the ridiculousness of midichlorians, the poorly designed “revolving-restaurant” headquarters, and why love is forbidden for all Jedi.

Tune in for rampant speculation about how George Lucas devised the name and race of the Jedi warrior Yareal Poof, what it sounds like when Griffin eats bananas, and the unimpeachable conceptual perfection of chance cubes.

Milestones and Ephemera

  • Griffin and David Nickname that didn't stick: Griffel and Simsbert
  • “Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.” -- Yoda, confusing everyone
  • Pejoratives ascribed to the Jedi in this episode: Lame, boring, unfunny, judgmental, creepy, stupid, stick-up-their-ass, dickless, crazy, jerks, crazy obstructionist jerks
  • David on Qui-Gon: "He deserves to die and it's great when he dies"
  • Scoring: Griffin mentions that the Jedi can't love multiple times. It's unclear how he knew this but he spends time justifying it. No score deducted.